


The Ties That Bind

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Burgers - Freeform, F/M, Friendship, Kissing, Lola - Freeform, Older Man/Younger Woman, Sex, Skye's family, Speculation, whatever that is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:31:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1842757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thoughts about various things.  The way the show set up the Skye/Coulson relationship.  The teaser about Skye's father. SHIELD being her family. And the tension that might create.  The fact that Coulson seems ill equipped at this point to try to build the new SHIELD without Skye, which, is kind of a big deal to me.  He can't without her, no one else understands him post-TAHITI. And all that implies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Family

"He's my father," she said. "I need some time here."

"Overlooking the fact that your dad tried to kill us," he said, "I want you to know that...of course it's your choice."

She glanced up, staring at him.

"It's always been your choice," he said softly, his eyes on some spot on the floor.

"Except, that one time you made me wear the bracelet, that..."

His head shot back at her, gave her an equal level of sass. 

"That was also your choice," he smiled fondly.

"Guess you're right," she drifted off, remembering how she had felt about him then. Looking down at the box before opening it, doing what she was always willing to do no matter what he came back at her with.

"They're my family," she said solemnly.

"Of course," he replied.

****

Coulson stared at the empty room. Specifically, at the door. She had said her goodbyes to the team, now it was just a matter of dropping them at their next stop.

He kept delving into work, trying to keep his mind focused. Trying to believe that this was just a temporary thing and that she wasn't really walking away.

His head shot up, hopefully, at the sound of a knock on his door.

"Come in," he said, faster than he normally would.

It was May. Coulson gave her a nod and looked back down at his desk.

"Phil," she asked, "Do you have a moment?"

"I've got lots of moments," he said, closing the folder in front of him. "What do you need?"

"If," she started, stopped herself. She sighed and then began again. "If there's something you need to say, then I would just say it. Don't wait until it's too late."

"What do you mean?" he asked, knowing very well what she meant, and trying to hide away the thoughts that wanted to surface.

"That is her family," she said. "But, we're her family, too."

"She just needs to sort things out," he swallowed. "She'll be back," he said, trying to convince himself.

"Maybe she will. But, maybe she needs a reason."

May must have noticed the panicked expression on his face, because she stopped talking. This conversation was making him feel raw, exposed.

"I can't do that to her right now," he breathed, emotions beginning to shoot across his face involuntarily. Like synapses. "It would be selfish, it would be too..."

"Real?" she threw out. "It would be real. It's how you feel," she said, emphasizing the word. "And that matters, too. Hiding it, is confusing her. It's pushing her out the door."

He rubbed his palm against his forehead.

"Do you really want to do this without her?" she asked.

He already knew the answer.

****

"Skye," he said, tapping on the door to the interrogation room.

"Yeah, come in," she said. As he opened the door, she gave him a tired smile.

The man next to her did not smile. He stood apart from them and crossed his arms.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" he asked.

"Sure," she said brightening, turning to the man. "I'll just be a minute."

He grunted at her, obviously disapproving.

Skye just shrugged and walked out of the room as Coulson shut the door behind her, glanced at her father, saw something that looked a lot like disgust. 

All his apprehensions about her going surfaced again. Skye could take care of herself, but would these people let her? Would her father let her be herself, or would he try to bend her? His aggression and his domineering presence didn't ease his concerns. And he couldn't stand the idea of them trying to put boundaries around her.

"So," she said, watching his face lost in thought for a few moments. "What is this about?"

He kept walking with her until they were in the lounge and then pointed to the couch. She sat down and he followed.

She raised her eyebrows when he made the face. The face she knew, the one where he was disappointed in himself, but still felt compelled to say it, explain why. 

"I can't do this without you," he finally said, staring at something indistinct on the coffee table. 

Her eyes followed, saw nothing there, realized he was just avoiding.

"Can you please just look at me?" she asked. "Please?"

His eyes slowly drifted up to look at her. She took a breath when she realized what he'd been hiding.

"SHIELD existed before me, and you are intricately familiar," she nodded, trying to mount a defense, more for herself than to him. "Which is why Fury left you in charge."

"I'm not just talking about SHIELD," he said, his eyelids fluttered, trying to maintain some kind of control. 

"What are you talking about, then?" she asked, looking at him sideways.

"Life. My life."

She caught her breath, looked away from him, slightly stunned. 

"You're my friend," he said. "I trust you probably more than anyone."

"More than Fury?" she guffawed, looking over at him.

"Fury knows the old me. He doesn't understand who I am now." 

"I just need some time to figure this out," she said. She thought she'd finished up most of her crying a few hours ago. Thought he had made himself clear.

"You don't have to come back," he said, leaning forward to touch her shoulder when her eyes got wide. He was probably being confusing again. He wasn't trying to, just maybe not very good at managing his own emotions instead of taking stock of others'. 

"But, I want you to. So much."

She pressed her lips together as a tear ran down one side of her face.

He brushed it away with his thumb.

"You're my family," he said. "I can't...let go of that."

Her hand briefly caressed his face, he hugged her, and she joined in.

They had done this before. But now, it lingered. She was wondering if he had touched her there before, only she was unaware. Their foreheads met, her hand ended up on the nape of his neck, pressing them together. His hands were caught on the middle of her back.

Then, her fingers reached up, touching his face. Her thumb landing on his bottom lip, tracing it. Excited. He jolted a bit, swallowed hard. She could feel he was afraid. He probably hadn't expected something more than just affection.

But he didn't protest, he didn't run, he just watched her, his breathing elevated, as she tipped her mouth up, just ever so slightly, and kissed him. Soft, tender. Inviting.

"Skye," he murmured.

"I'll come back," she said, looking up at his eyes. "I promise."


	2. Clutter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson's headspace gets very cluttered without Skye around. And also, Coulson working on Lola, because, that's hot.

He had slipped back into a routine. Which, was putting it mildly.

May had made several attempts to draw him out, to cheer him up.

It wasn't that life stopped being a circus on the outside, just that he felt a bit colorless on the inside. Like he remembered things before New York. TAHITI.

Why in the hell had he let his world be turned upside down by someone that young?

He was a 50-year-old fool and that's all there was to it. 

Feet pounding on the treadmill, he hit the button to speed it up, hoping that pushing himself would make him just stop thinking about it. Her.

His old self would've given him a talking down. About protocols. About why you just don't do these kinds of things in their line of work. This is a distraction. End it, quick.

Fury would give him that look with his one good eye. The look that said "I HOPE YOU ARE NOT BECOMING A LIABILITY, COULSON". 

Hill, Hill would just ask him what he was smoking and how long he'd been smoking it, and say something pithy, like "Real dumb, Phil."

He never allowed himself to think of Skye like that, even though he was pretty sure she'd flirted with him a number of times. Skye was kind of flirty. 

Okay, he was kind of flirty. 

Sure, tell her "It's classified", Phil. Get in the back of the tinted SUV when she tells you to "slide on in", Phil. He rolled his eyes.

Shit.

Then on, he had relied on her, like a sounding board. She could take whatever mental maze he had constructed and linearize it. Straighten him out. 

That was something he had become dependent on. That's what you do when you have a very good team. You push/pull one another all the way to the finish line. 

She was fantastic at seeing the other side of the situation. And her way with an exploit was pretty damn sexy.

He never should've let her kiss him. That's all there was to it. He should've said "no", instead of "Skye" like he was a teenage boy under a spell.

What was he going to offer her? Half of his life was already over. Hers was just taking off. She had a long way to go, and he wanted to see her succeed.

This, whatever, this was, was a roadblock. 

Stepping off the treadmill, he went to reach for a bottle of water, noticed May watching him.

"Done punishing yourself for the day?" she asked, raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," he said, drinking from the bottle, breathing hard.

"It's okay to just admit you miss her."

He bent over, hands on his knees. "I'm getting old."

The corner of May's mouth turned up slightly. "Is that what that is?"

He shut his eyes for a moment, opened them, stood up. "She kissed me, May. I let her. I could have stopped it, and, I let her."

May's eyes widened briefly, resumed their calm, even stare.

Coulson watched her out of the corner of his eye, took another drink.

"She's in love with you, Phil."

"I should never have let it happen," he said, brow furrowed.

May walked over to him, touched his shoulder, his chin hit his chest, staring down.

"Maybe. Did it mean something?"

"I don't...what are you asking me?" he stammered, conflicted.

"Maybe when you're done beating yourself up over feeling something, for someone you care so much about, you might want to ask yourself if it means anything."

"I have a job to do," he said, trying to back down from the conversation.

"We all do. But, it might be less distracting to just answer the question your heart is asking."

****

Things got easier after that.

She was going to come back. 

Of course she was. 

He would have things to show her, ask her opinions on. Things that would make her proud of him, he hoped.

What he'd realized, when he'd allowed himself to answer the question, was that at some point, it had turned into something else. Something far richer and deeper than just flirtation or infatuation. 

He realized it was when she'd saved him. When he was laying there, remembering the pain, the anguish, and she was calling him back. 

He had just said her name over and over again. 

And her concern afterwards, standing there with that stupid bracelet on her wrist. Working around the handicap he'd given her. It wasn't just a mission, it wasn't just to prove herself, it was him. She wanted him. 

She needed him, too.

He wasn't totally sure why. He had an inkling ("you value me"), but, he was going to ask her when she came home.

After all, if she was going to kiss him, he thought, smiling to himself, he deserved some answers.

 

****

His new favorite activity was going to work on Lola.

They didn't have an in-house mechanic. Yet. He'd flirted with grease monkey stuff at different points in his life, never gotten too serious. 

It was nice busywork.

Ordering parts was kind of boring, sometimes tricky ("yes, but it needs to be retractable") but, what the hey.

Lola needed some love.

He had her original schematics. He always kept those close by. I mean, they were signed by Howard Stark and everything. 

People thought Lola was just outfitted by Stark tech. But, no. He'd personally designed all the modifications. It was briefly his SHIELD ride in the 60s. Of course, Stark thought he'd moved on to bigger and better. 

But Phil knew Lola was so much more. After New York, he had lifted the door to the warehouse, pointed at her and looked back at Fury. The man had only said, "Damn, Coulson, you're too easy. Why not your own airplane?" "I'm not done," Coulson had replied, shaking his head at Fury in disbelief.

So now, here he was, on his back, wearing his old SHIELD sweat pants and a t-shirt, working on the wheelbase.

He'd needed Fitz's help with the propulsion, of course. That wasn't like doing an oil change. 

And here came a pair of feet shuffling up. 

He was about to be interrupted, no doubt. Better be good. 

This was his "me" time and everyone in the Playground knew it.

"Check you out."

Coulson slid out from under the hood. Stared up at Skye.

She had her dufflebag thrown over her shoulder, dropped it when he jumped up and hugged her tightly.

"Hey there, Agent Gearhead, missed you, too."

"Director Gearhead," he said, pausing. "Skye. You're back."

"Yep. To stay."

"You alright?" he said, pulling away to look at her, his hands on her shoulders.

Those eyes. God, how he'd missed those eyes.

"Processing, still, I guess," she said. "What happened, I left for a couple of months and you've turned into Fix-It Felix."

"I got bored," he smirked.

"Huh," she replied, stepping away to run her hand over Lola's bodywork. "Buy a girl a burger and fries?"

"Sure, just let me get cleaned up," he said.

"I'm kind of starving," she said. "You wouldn't believe the stuff I had to eat," she added, making a face.

He grabbed the towel off the ground, began wiping his hands down.

"Besides," she said, glancing over at him. "You look good in grease."

Coulson bit his lower lip, began to smile.

He was going to take his time getting to all of that.

"Missed you, too."


	3. Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naughty bits commence. Apologizes to Blade Runner for my stealing bits.

"Have I ever told you that you're cool?" she said, mouth full of a burger bite. "Because, you are."

"I don't feel very cool," he replied, looking down at his grubby sweatpants. He was wearing his dress shoes with, because, there was no way he was doing flip flops. Ever.

Skye grabbed her Coke and took a sip of it, looked out over the parkland below them.

Coulson had parked Lola on top of Teddy Roosevelt's head, the idea coming to him in a rush as they were in the drive thru window.

"Mount Rushmore is kind of smaller than I thought it would be. In person."

He had taken a blanket from the trunk, and made a nice little protective barrier over Lola, so they could sit on top of the body, feet in the seats, admire the view.

Coulson pulled on his strawberry shake, making a sucking noise through the straw.

"Never would've figured you for strawberry," she said slowly.

"What?" he asked.

"Vanilla, all the way," she started laughing, when he reacted. "You, are vanilla."

"I can't believe you're even saying that with a straight face," he said, offended. 

She leaned and bumped her shoulder into his.

"I really did miss you," she said.

"You ready to talk about your family?" he asked, finishing off his burger.

"Not particularly," she said, started anyway. "We're all monsters, you know."

"Yes, I saw," he acknowledged, thinking back to her father. "But that doesn't make you a monster."

"And my people, they don't like your people," she said, chomping down on a french fry.

"What does that even mean," he shrugged, "'Your people'?"

"Humans," she stated, staring over at him flatly.

"Technically," he said, "I'm part alien."

"They don't like them, either," she quickly added.

"What DO they like?"

"I don't think they even liked me very much," she said. "It was like they wanted me to stay, but kind of as a formality, or something. I don't think there are many of them left."

He put his arm around her, hugged her. "I'm sorry."

"Green and scaly," she said, looking at him, like it was a dare. "Line up for my dance card, boys."

"You do that now?"

"Oh, not yet, but eventually. Got my mom's looks!" she said, standing, shaking off his arm and rolling up the rest of her burger bag.

He saw the look on her face, she was retreating.

"Hey," he said. "Don't do that."

"I don't know what to feel. I don't know what I am. what if I don't want to be like them? And I have no choice."

"Yes, you do," he said. "You're still Skye. No matter what you look like on the outside."

"You don't know what you're saying," she replied. "What I've seen..."

"I don't care," he said, locking eyes with her.

"You really should," she replied, sadly.

 

****

They drove back to the Playground mostly in silence. 

When he pulled Lola in, Skye glanced over at him, said "Thanks," grabbed her bag and headed to her room.

Coulson leaned back in the drivers seat, sighed.

Maybe he had pushed too soon about her family. He started running over scenarios in his mind. She didn't fit in there. She didn't fit in here now. She didn't even feel human. Had he said the wrong thing. Should he have taken it more seriously. That would be a first, him needing to be more serious and Skye less. What a reversal that was.

Or, maybe, he hadn't pushed enough?

He jumped out of the front seat and went after her.

"Interesting choice," May said, in the hallway, looking at his sweats and then down at his shoes.

"Whatever," he said rapidly, continued on.

He reached her door, put out his hand to knock. 

Decided against it, let himself in.

Skye just stared back at him, turning from her bed, unpacked things all over the cover.

The door closed behind him and he took several steps towards her, grabbed her, kissed her with everything he was feeling.

He let them breathe for a moment.

"You don't know what I am," she said.

Maybe she didn't understand?

He kissed her again, this time, taking the back of her head, his tongue slipping between her parted lips as she opened her mouth, let him in.

Releasing her, he stepped back, his chest taking in deep breaths, eyes glazed and flushed faced.

She reached out a hand for him, he stepped back further.

"I want you to kiss me," he said.

She slowly closed the distance between them, her hand reaching up to touch his face as he caught her by the wrist, eyes scanning her face.

"Tell me you want me," he said.

"I. I want you," she said.

"I want you, Phil," he swallowed.

"Phil," she said, as he let her hand go, she dropped it, reached for his waist, slid her hands beneath his shirt, watching them push the fabric over his stomach and up. 

He grabbed the bottom of the shirt, yanked it up and over his head, tossed it away. Her huge eyes and her hand immediately went for the scar over his heart. Then he picked her up, grasping her waist and shoved her up against the wall.

"I need you," he whispered in her ear. "Do you understand what I'm asking?"

She nodded.

"This is not about fucking. I'm twice your age. We shouldn't even be doing this," he said.

Wow. Him admitting that out loud made him harder.

"You shouldn't be fucking monsters, either," she said. "But, here we are."

She smothered his mouth with hers, not holding anything back as he groaned, pressed his mouth against her, trying to dive into her, have more, of her.

"I love you," he said.

"Show me, Phil. Show me how much."

 

****

"Why did you kiss me?" he asked her.

He was tracing circles lazily over her bare back.

"Because, I wanted you to tell me to stay."

His hand paused.

"That you needed me as much as I needed you. But, you didn't kiss me back," she said frowning, remembering.

She smiled when his fingers started moving again.

"I panicked," he confessed. "I wouldn't believe you would want me like that."

"Hopefully," she said, turning on her side. "You are now thoroughly convinced."

His hand touched her lower lip, she kissed it.

"Refractory period," he said, seeing the look in her eyes. "I apologize on both our behalves," he added, lifting the sheet for a second.

Grinning, she leaned over and kissed him, "You're a funny guy, Phil."

"You say that, but, you never laugh at my jokes."

"You never laugh," she replied.

"I laugh on the inside."

"So I've gathered," she smirked. "I'm going to tell you something," she continued. "Just to put any doubts to rest about who started this mess. The first time I saw you, I swear you were making eyes at me."

"In the van?" he asked, confused, taking her hand and beginning to kiss her fingers one by one.

"I mean, who gets the jump on someone and makes that kind of face."

"I wasn't flirting with you. I just wanted to see how you'd react."

"To your handsome, smirking, kidnapper face and your well-tailored secret agent suit?"

"I like where you're going with this," he started, his mouth closed over one of her fingers.

"I can't make my point if you're going to do that," she groaned, biting her lip.

"That was just a simple misreading of my intentions, it really doesn't qualify," he shrugged.

"Anyway, I just liked your face. Then it went downhill from there."

"That's it?" he said, blinking. "My face?"

"These things are mysterious," she said.

"Downhill?" he protested, reaching for her, kissing her, throwing his weight on top of her as she giggled.

"Aaand, I'd check out your ass when you weren't looking. I'd like to thank your mother and your tailor," she teased.

"Noted," he said, scandalized.

"There's also the fact that you treat me like I always have something to give. Something more, and better, and wonderful. It made me want you near. Like, all the time. And, it made me crazy, thinking about someone taking that away."

"I like that about you," he said, kissing her neck. "That you want to give. So much."

"It just means, everything," she said, touching his face. "Like, for the first time, I'm building something real. With someone."

"Yes," he said, staring back at her. "We are."


End file.
